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Nesting may help ease family changes for children

| Sep 8, 2020 | Child Custody

Nesting can work at the beginning of separation and only with a very careful plan on how to separate the households. Children are often the most contentious part of a divorce or dissolution of a relationship between their parents. Both parents want what is best for the child, and sometimes, they believe only they can provide that for their children. However, nesting can be an option for Pennsylvanian parents moving through the divorce or dissolution process and want to share joint custody. In this process, they can keep their primary focus on mutually working for the best interests of their child.

Nesting/Bird nesting

Nesting, also commonly referred to as bird nesting, is a trend that has been gaining momentum over the past couple of years. It has become such a hot topic because it can help children through the divorce and dissolution process, make joint custody easier and reduce costs. Essentially, parents share the family home, taking turns parenting there, while the child remains in the home, as if the divorce or dissolution never happened.

The Keys to Making Nesting Work

Nesting must be a very temporary situation and only to ease into a transition of separation. Both parents must keep in mind that the stability and safety of their children is their primary concern. Accordingly, the shared family home must be a safe space, devoid of conflict between the parents. If a good exit strategy is carried out, this type of temporary agreement can ease the conflict and help the children adjust.

Mainlining this safe space requires good communication and respect between the ex-spouses/partners. It also means being reliable, and both parents should be able to trust the other parent. After all, the family home is still a shared space.

Nesting Perks

Nesting has gotten big news lately because of its practical benefits. For the parents, it gives them more time to decide how they want to proceed with their lives post-divorce or dissolution, without affecting the child. For the child, it also gives them time to adjust to a single-parent environment and the impending back-and-forth which will be the new status quo for parenting arrangements with shared custody.

There is also no need to keep track of the child’s belongings as they stay put. And, neither parent has to buy those items again. Plus, the child gets to stay in the environment they are familiar with, stay at their school and maintain their friend group.

Nesting Downsides

Nesting is new, and it can confuse children. They may struggle between their fond memories of the family home, loving time spent with both parents, and their new reality. This may also give them the false hope that their parent’s breakup is not real or permanent.

In any event, though, dissolution, divorce and post-divorce matters are complicated. Seeking counsel from a family law attorney can help.