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What to do if your spouse asks for a divorce

On Behalf of | Jun 7, 2021 | Divorce

No marriage in Pennsylvania is guaranteed to last. If your spouse expresses that they want to end your marriage, it can be very heartbreaking and frustrating. If you don’t want to get a divorce but your partner does, here are some things that you should and shouldn’t do after receiving the news.

What you shouldn’t do

If your partner tells you that they want a divorce and dissolution of your marriage, it is important that you refrain from acting out. Finding out that the person you want to spend the rest of your life with doesn’t feel the same can be very stressful, but throwing a fit and acting out will only push them away more. Crying and begging them to stay also won’t work if they’ve already made this decision. Throwing a fit and acting out after learning your partner wants a divorce and dissolution of your marriage can even be used against you in a court of law.

Trying to buy back your love won’t be effective either, so don’t bother trying to shower them with gifts and presents. In fact, it is unlikely that you will ever receive credit and or reimbursement for such gifts and presents given to your partner after learning your partner wants a divorce and dissolution of your marriage. You should give them as much space as they need, so don’t become obsessive and start spying on them or following them around. Instead, try to start thinking about what the separation of the marital stuff, like cars, the house, personal property, and bank accounts, would look like

What you should do

If your partner tells you that they want a divorce, it is essential that you be understanding and respectful. Let them know that you don’t want to get divorced and that you want to repair your marriage, but don’t be pushy about it. Just let them know that you are available to talk and discuss any problems within your marriage that need to be addressed.

In the meantime, keep yourself busy and find things to do that will keep your mind preoccupied. You don’t want to sit around sulking. It would also be beneficial if you saw a marriage counselor or started reading books that could help you better your understanding of how to have a happy marriage. In Pennsylvania, the Divorce Statute permits a party to request mandatory marriage counseling after service of a Divorce Complaint.

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Over the years, you and your partner will have issues, but it’s important that you be compassionate, understanding and cooperative with your partner so that you are able to work out those issues. If your partner still insists that they want a divorce, you may want to contact a family law attorney to discuss your options moving forward.

Pennsylvania Bar Association

Allegheny County Bar Association | Raising The Bar on Legal and Community Service | Best Divorce Lawyers in Pittsburgh | 2021